Category — Defamer

Momma’s Boys has quickly become an unhealthy Defamer preoccupation, the explosive possibilities of adding overbearing mothers to the hot-tubs-and-fake-boobs reality formula sending us into convulsive fits of trash TV ecstasy.

Last night’s episode built to an electrifying showdown between the controversial Mrs. B—who’s made no secret of her wish to see son JoJo settle down with a nice, white, Catholic girl (despite the fact that she herself is neither nice nor white)—and her arch nemesis, African-American candidate Misty.

Openly defying his mother’s wishes, JoJo texted Misty an invite for a hot tub date—a savory comeuppance further chilled by Misty’s choice to rock the sluttiest soccerwear in her carry-on for their lovers’ rendezvous. A heated confrontation in the McMansion foyer required the intervention of the other girls, lest Mrs. B produce a shiv from her purse carved out of her favorite good-luck crucifix, and plunge it deep into the JoJo-possessing she-demon’s dark heart.

Which brings us to the sequence above, in which producers selflessly offer Mrs. B the services of a helicopter, that she might witness JoJo engaged in an unholy interracial tongue-mashing. The results are truly amazing, for while she never actually utters the words, “What kind of autocannons and rocket launchers is this pathetic whirlybird outfitted with?! I need to INCINERATE THIS BITCH,” she does succumb to a full-scale apoplectic seizure. After pledging to neuter her son without the use of surgical instruments—an image still seared into our cortex—Mrs. B decides to unleash her rage upon on the aircraft’s window. The fiery wreck that follows is only a Defamer recreation, but entirely plausible, given the circumstances.

Misty would be dismissed by JoJo at the end of the episode, excluded from next week’s foray to the US Virgin Islands for having disrespected his mother—but we suspect it was too late for such reparations. Once you’ve pledged to squeeze off your son’s own balls on national TV, there’s really no turning back.

• Momma’s Boys [NBC]

Benicio Del Toro deserves credit for a great many things: his Oscar-winning acting, his inspiration to the mushmouthed, and now, for crafting 2009’s very first meme.

The phrasing came during a tetchy exchange with New York magazine, where Del Toro was forced to defend his regional accent in Che:

There’s been some criticism about your accent in the movie. You speak in a Caribbean Spanish accent while Che Guevara had an Argentine one. Was there a reason you made that choice?
Where’d you read that?

It was mentioned in the Variety review, among other places.
What do they know? He doesn’t know Spanish. You should ask someone Cuban what my Spanish sounds like. Are you one of those people that believe what they read?

No.
Well, then don’t shoot it back at me, bro.

We shan’t! Kudos, Mr. Del Toro, on crafting a new spin on what was becoming an old chestnut: “Don’t tase me, bro.” Now that we’ve found a suitable replacement, we shall toss that overdone phrase where memes go to die: on a Geocities page circa 1998, surrounded by flashing GIFs.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Che’s Benicio Del Toro on Faking an Asthma Attack [New York]

Does the Spike Lee quote from The Guardian about how he’s a man of means, but not Oprah-means, in today’s Page Six and Huffington Post sound familiar?

It should if you read The New Yorker. [The New Yorker, Guardian]